Friday, April 28, 2006

Quick! Limited Time! Everything Must GO!

If I was starring in a local television commercial a la Crazy Gideon or Phillip Seymour Hoffman, I would wear a crown and wave a magic wand and maybe yell a lot, telling you about the insane deals you're missing by not checking out The Pitchfork Disney before it ends next Tuesday. Make reservations and come on down to Company of Angels! There's candy and beer for the kids. If I can't get you a deal I'll go KrAZeEE!!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

This might be a theatrey wank fest, but I'm betting that because the creators are legit, it'll be pretty cool. I've never seen anything of Robert Wilson's, but he's pretty famous and supposedly pretty great. And the idea of a Burroughs-Waits collaboration is ridiculously awesome. (I was also going to write how we got the free tickets, but for fear of blog-monitoring, I'll just say employee discounts are sweet).

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Exotic Cuisine
There's a new fast food place at the corner of Beverly and Vermont. I drive past it every time I go to Marah's, and for weeks I couldn't figure out what the hell it was. It's bright yellow and had a fat, red mascot. Then a name appeared: Jollibee. When it finally opened, they put up signs declaring, Juicy Yumburger! and Spicy Chickenjoy!

"Ah", I mused. "Those foreigners are at it again".

Apparently, Jollibee is huge in the Phillipines. The red mascot is a superior Ronald McDonald, at least, that's what this picture leads me to believe.

I definitely appreciate any corporation whose mascot will bully another's mascot, but I don't think I can eat something called a Juicy Yumburger. Clearly it's an awkward translation but still, the name's just a little too excited. Is this the short man's complex of beef? At least with the Crispy Bangus Belly, they just come right out and admit they're serving innards.

In a way, Jollibee is a perfect sequel to Chano's, the Mexican fast-food place that used to occupy the same building. Chano's is the home of the cryptically titled Mixed Up Burger, which is an impossibly greasy beef patty topped by pastrami, egg, cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mayo, relish, onions, etc. We ordered it once out of curiosity. Somewhere there's pictures of different people posing with it. But I think I have to draw the line here.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Texas Two Step
Marah was tempted but we didn't try it, since the folks at Ginny's Saloon were serious on the dance floor. We were content to watch. On our second night, Texaken took us to Ginny's, which almost seemed out of place in Austin. It struck me as a bar you'd find in Middle of Nowhere, Texas -- minus the possibility of getting shot, since a.) that really happens in some Texas bars apparently, and b.) Ginny's has a No Guns policy.

A country band tore through four sets of music. The lead guitarist was this gigantic man named Redd who destroyed! For three hours, we just sat at our table, drinking 2 dollar Lone Stars and taking in the incredible people watching (my favorite was the guy who tucked his muscle T into his stone washed jeans, for class; Marah liked the 30-something women who danced with each other and clearly wanted men to take them home). It was authentic and awesome.

The trip was a whirlwind. We went back and forth between Ken and my brother's. I won't bore you with the details, but to recap, I did the following: met my niece, drank a lot of local draft beer, ate, sat outside, wore a new suit, got lost on a walk with my parents, went to Waterloo Records, played with Alamo, dodged tooly drunk college kids on 6th Street, visited the original Whole Foods (it sells clothing), ate barbecue outdoors in the country, became a godfather, experienced humidity, attended Episcopalian church, almost went to a taping of Austin City Limits, vomited, watched our homophobic waiter at Friday's spill Marah's martini all over her, discovered that Austin has die-hard hipsters, a la Echo Park and Williamsburg. Also, I realized that no matter how old I get, dealing my brother surprise karate chops will always be awesome. All in all, it was pretty great.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Macabre Ha Ha

I haven't read this or seen a rehearsal, but if the show is anything like the postcard, then I'm IN! (I guess I'd be in anyway, but the promise of some morbid yuks makes it all the better).

From Marah:

Hey there!

Thought I would attempt to woo you to my next show with fantastic
visuals. If the postcard doesn't do it for you, how about seeing
agoraphobic twins hooked on chocolate and barbituates do battle with
their worst nightmares, which include a masked mute and a bronzed
adonis who eats bugs? Aren't British playwrights the best?

Please do make reservations, as the theatre is on the cozy side.
And check out goldstarevents.com for some sweet ticket deals. Hope to see you there!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Sprinnggg Brreeaaakkkk: Austin stylely
We leave for Austin Wednesday. My niece is getting baptised, and I'm the godfather. I think this means I'm in charge in case of emergency, but definitely it means I had to buy a suit, which was cool. I don't own anything of class, unless you count my car, which you shouldn't. The suit is nice, especially after alterations, though the place I bought it from, 3 Day Suit Broker, is exactly what it sounds like. I never thought suits could be herded like caddle, but there you go. George Zimmer might disapprove, but eff that guy. Who the hell does he think he is?! (Seriously though, what's up with that picture, George?).

We're really excited to be in Austin. The weather's supposed to be great, I'll see the fam, meet my niece, hang out with Texaken. And get this... Our hotel has its own Starbucks - what what?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

This guy's cool 'cause he won stuff!
By simple luck, I won the NCAA bracket pool at work. I know nothing about college basketball. I picked Florida because they were decently ranked, and I thought, what the hell? I've never won anything, and now I have a cool $64 to prove that yes, I too am a winner, like all those people who receive giant checks from Ed McMahon.
The funny things is -- and this could be my paranoia -- I seem to have earned respect, or at least an uncomfortable amount of attention, at work because of it. Attorneys have been chatting me up. "Hey Winner, are you too busy celebrating to open this file for me, ha ha". One guy said "wuzzup" to me twice today. And then I got this: "Hey Soika... is that Japanese?". I'm hoping I don't have that curse that befalls lottery winners and destroys their lives, or you know, leaves them stranded on an island. If this high profile stuff keeps up, I may have to move my operation into the lonely stacks of the library.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Writing your own band's bio is gaytarded
You'd think it was easy. Who better to describe yourselves than one of your own? The problem is band bios inevitably sound lame. I managed to get around sounding self-congratulatory. Now, I'm struggling for something that will pique the interest of people perusing music online, something that won't promise sexual favors, but will guarantee bar mitzvah bookings. Not an easy task.

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