Thursday, June 29, 2006

Reunion Roundup
If you read this blog, you probably also read this one and this one, and have seen pics from our 10 year reunion. Don't worry, that won't stop me from commenting.

More or less, everyone was the same. Rather than the bloated messes I half-expected to see, people were fit and, in a lot of cases, looked better. Otherwise, this is how it broke down.

Number of boob jobs I was alerted to: 2

Number of people who'd been to jail: 1

Number of women I thought were Carrie David but weren't: 3

Number of Super Nerds who were still Super Nerds, endearingly so: 2

Number of people who said I was partly responsible for turning out okay: 1
(he was very drunk, and forgot he'd already talked to me)

Sets of digits Chachi got, despite being hammered and without trying: 1

Number of guys who stripped down to their wife-beaters by night's end: 1

Number of fights between rivals that were rumored to happen but didn't: 1

Number of people who accused me of lying when I said I remembered them: 1

Number of people who should've accused me of lying when I said I remembered them: 2

There was one particularly awkward conversation, in which I tried to convince Erin Pahlke that she did, in fact, know me in high school.

Me: Yeah, we had AP English together. At the end of the year, we did that project. We made that movie.

Erin's Friend (Chrissy?): You guys made a movie together??

Taryn, do you remember this movie? I seem to recall you being the mastermind.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

What do I have to do to get a good racist around here?
Our phone number at work used to be the phone number of a major television network. Consequently, we get lots of wrong number calls. Last weekend, a very concerned racist left two voicemails berating the network. The messages were long so here are some incredible highlights.

...It's not enough we got a steady flow of illegal Browns coming into this country every day, you have to go and show those sickos playing their soccer [apparently the network was showing world cup coverage?], drinking their beers, hootin' and hollerin'...

...You oughta pack up with all them Browns with their Coronas, you all oughta pack up together and move your headquarters to Mexico, you anti-American sickos.

All of this leads me to think, racists need a new PR campaign. Lately, it's just a lot of "those browns this, those browns that". We've heard that before, racists.

Last I heard, Pat Robertson was in poor health; Tom Metzker has faded into obscurity; Pat Buchanan who?

You need a new spokesman with more winning spin. I like Coronas, myself. Can't say I watch a lot of soccer, but I have, on occasion, been known to hoot AND holler.

You've got a long, proud legacy to uphold. You say you care, but where are your burning crosses? Do you really want to be known as lazy, voicemail-leavers? Is that what you've become?

Just think about it.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Comedy Survey

I need your help.

Scabies... Funny, or too itchy to be taken lightly?

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


The following may not be safe at the work

Continue only if you are slave to Kazakhstan fashion

Hello, Summer

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