Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Rampage Dieting
Many have heard the tale of Chachi and his famous eating binge, probably multiple times as it's one of my favorite stories. For those who haven't, I'll catch you up. Once, we drove to Joshua Tree and back for a one-day camping trip. During that time, Chachi consumed the following...
Day 1:
-McDonald's trip 1: breakfast
-McDonald's trip 2: 20 piece chicken mcnuggets and large fries
-a jar of apple sauce
(there may have been a sandwich in here)
-a bag of chips
-a container of salsa
-a 20 ounce steak (it hung off the sides of the grill)
-4 smores
-12 beers
Day 2:
-6 eggs, 6 strips of bacon
-Bob's Big Boy lunch: cheeseburger, a salad, large chocolate shake
So yeah, it's not so much a story as it is an itemized list. I bring it up now because it gives me context for how I felt last Sunday morning. The ghosts of Carolyn and Orlando's amazing Beer n Cake party haunted my innards. The thing about a Beer n Cake party, I found out, is it's dangerous. You start off full from dinner and sober (or relatively sober), and eat three or four delicious cupcakes. "Well that's it for me," you tell yourself. But then, as you drink more beer, you forget how full you are, and eat more cake. Or cookie-brownies. Or other delicious desserts with angel food cake and cherries. At some point you may even excuse yourself to go take a breather in the other room. But then, you drink more beers and realize you've got to neutralize the sweetness with pita chips and hummus, and those desserts, those desserts just stare at you, looking all sexy and delicious. Before you know it, it's 1am and, unable to be upright any longer, you roll on the floor circling for the best place to settle, like a dog.
Unlike Chachi's bottomless cavern of a stomach, I woke up on Sunday full to the brim. When I talked, whole cupcakes ejected from my mouth, Pez-like. I used to make fun of Chachi for his unhealthy rampage-eating. Now I admire him.
Many have heard the tale of Chachi and his famous eating binge, probably multiple times as it's one of my favorite stories. For those who haven't, I'll catch you up. Once, we drove to Joshua Tree and back for a one-day camping trip. During that time, Chachi consumed the following...
Day 1:
-McDonald's trip 1: breakfast
-McDonald's trip 2: 20 piece chicken mcnuggets and large fries
-a jar of apple sauce
(there may have been a sandwich in here)
-a bag of chips
-a container of salsa
-a 20 ounce steak (it hung off the sides of the grill)
-4 smores
-12 beers
Day 2:
-6 eggs, 6 strips of bacon
-Bob's Big Boy lunch: cheeseburger, a salad, large chocolate shake
So yeah, it's not so much a story as it is an itemized list. I bring it up now because it gives me context for how I felt last Sunday morning. The ghosts of Carolyn and Orlando's amazing Beer n Cake party haunted my innards. The thing about a Beer n Cake party, I found out, is it's dangerous. You start off full from dinner and sober (or relatively sober), and eat three or four delicious cupcakes. "Well that's it for me," you tell yourself. But then, as you drink more beer, you forget how full you are, and eat more cake. Or cookie-brownies. Or other delicious desserts with angel food cake and cherries. At some point you may even excuse yourself to go take a breather in the other room. But then, you drink more beers and realize you've got to neutralize the sweetness with pita chips and hummus, and those desserts, those desserts just stare at you, looking all sexy and delicious. Before you know it, it's 1am and, unable to be upright any longer, you roll on the floor circling for the best place to settle, like a dog.
Unlike Chachi's bottomless cavern of a stomach, I woke up on Sunday full to the brim. When I talked, whole cupcakes ejected from my mouth, Pez-like. I used to make fun of Chachi for his unhealthy rampage-eating. Now I admire him.
