Friday, February 17, 2006
I Hate Guitar Center
I dread going to Guitar Center. It's overpriced and the employees, while good musicians, are class A Dipshits. If they're not jerking themselves off by whaling on the instruments, they're out for your blood. Like vampires minus the lady-killing charm, they wear down your defenses until you have to surrender. Tragically, the only other place to buy drum stuff closes at 5:30, and is open for like ten minutes on the weekend.
Last night I went to buy a cymbal, and as I approached the counter to check out, I overheard one vampire sniffing out some victims. They said they needed a few days to think about it. He warned them, 'Well, here's the thing. You definitely don't want to wait too long 'cause on Saturday mornings when we open the doors, there's literally 200 people waiting in line to get in here. They swoop in and snatch up all kinds of stuff. I might be able to put it on hold for you, but I don't recommend it..."
The guy ringing me up (Vampire 2) asked me if I wanted the warranty on my cymbal. I guess my 'no thanks' triggered the scent of blood in Vamp 1, because suddenly he was just eerily there. "No warranty, huh? That's cool. But you know I've got this same cymbal, and I don't know how hard you play -- I play pretty hard -- and mine started to crack within the first couple years. I didn't get the warranty either 'cause I bought it somewhere else, and I was totally screwed."
I kind of smiled and nodded (way too tentative a reaction in hindsight), so he cranked the Fear up to 11. "Sometimes these things, when they crack, whole pieces can fly off and can hit you in the face..."
The warranty covers instrument-inflicted hospital visits, too.
Finally I just coughed up the extra $20. Honestly, I would've paid more to get him to stop.
When I got to band practice, I recounted the tale to Josh. He told me he wanted to check out a guitar there once, and the sales guy plugged it in and just started soloing.
So now it's official. I'm cancelling my plans for Guitarmaggedon this weekend.
I dread going to Guitar Center. It's overpriced and the employees, while good musicians, are class A Dipshits. If they're not jerking themselves off by whaling on the instruments, they're out for your blood. Like vampires minus the lady-killing charm, they wear down your defenses until you have to surrender. Tragically, the only other place to buy drum stuff closes at 5:30, and is open for like ten minutes on the weekend.
Last night I went to buy a cymbal, and as I approached the counter to check out, I overheard one vampire sniffing out some victims. They said they needed a few days to think about it. He warned them, 'Well, here's the thing. You definitely don't want to wait too long 'cause on Saturday mornings when we open the doors, there's literally 200 people waiting in line to get in here. They swoop in and snatch up all kinds of stuff. I might be able to put it on hold for you, but I don't recommend it..."
The guy ringing me up (Vampire 2) asked me if I wanted the warranty on my cymbal. I guess my 'no thanks' triggered the scent of blood in Vamp 1, because suddenly he was just eerily there. "No warranty, huh? That's cool. But you know I've got this same cymbal, and I don't know how hard you play -- I play pretty hard -- and mine started to crack within the first couple years. I didn't get the warranty either 'cause I bought it somewhere else, and I was totally screwed."
I kind of smiled and nodded (way too tentative a reaction in hindsight), so he cranked the Fear up to 11. "Sometimes these things, when they crack, whole pieces can fly off and can hit you in the face..."
The warranty covers instrument-inflicted hospital visits, too.
Finally I just coughed up the extra $20. Honestly, I would've paid more to get him to stop.
When I got to band practice, I recounted the tale to Josh. He told me he wanted to check out a guitar there once, and the sales guy plugged it in and just started soloing.
So now it's official. I'm cancelling my plans for Guitarmaggedon this weekend.
