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Monday, September 20, 2004

Biscuit's In The House
I was sifting through these pop culture trading cards the other day (Super Stars of Late '80s/Early '90s Music edition, to be specific). 'Twas a flashback to a time when popular music sucked just a little more than it does now. In case you forgot about the explosive success of MC Skat Cat, the sassy animated feline who tangled with Paula Abdul in the "Opposites Attract" video, he and his posse are now immortalized, and prepped for trading with your friends.

I remembered most of the "artists", if only for a song or video. But then there were the obscure ones that you most certainly never heard of, despite the cards' perhaps slightly exaggerated declaration that they "blew up the charts" and had "ultra-mega success". My favorite of these these lost treasures is Biscuit. What's that? You don't remember Biscuit, the NKOTB bodyguard turned rapper? Allow Super Stars MusiCards to break it down for you:

Biscuit played his demo tape for New Kids Joe McIntyre and Donnie Wahlberg, who excitedly told him, "You've got a hit record there!" That single, "Biscuit's In The House," was soon a hit nationwide and was followed quickly by the album 'Biscuit' (1990).

Sadly, my web search for a Bisc pic bore no fruit. But imagine someone's overweight, balding dad in a leather jacket, and that's pretty much him. His smile makes me think Dancing Teddy Bear, but the jacket suggests a hardened thug seething under the surface. Sort of a black Snow, if you will. A more palletable Brian Austin Green. MC Hammer without the edge. You get the picture.

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