Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Dear Mick Jagger,
There's a 50something woman in Accounting who dresses like she's 18. While staying just mature of Hillary Duff's Duff Stuff, her clothes suggest the teenage girls' section of a department store (a section I came to loathe while working at Robinson's May, as I was responsible for climbing up a broken ladder every day to turn on the TVs -- there were 8 -- that played Blues Traveler videos all day long. Who knew teens lost their shit for pre stomach-staple John Popper? Then again The Macarena also thrived in '97, so I guess anything was possible).
Anyway, this woman. Now look, people should look how they want to look if it makes them happy, despite how ridiculous and ridicule-inducing it may be. But yesterday Accounting took it too far. As she walked by, I saw her struggle to pull her pink stretchy pants up over an exposed chain link thong. I mean, c'mon. She's not fat. Just very 50something. Remember when aging gracefully was a thing?... Yeah, me neither, I guess. Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm older, but I've more respect for the unabashedly shapeless and sore bodies of middle age than I do for the stretched gloss of faux youth. Just let it go, dude. Desperation's got an ugly stink.
Sincerely,
Crotchedy McRantsalot
There's a 50something woman in Accounting who dresses like she's 18. While staying just mature of Hillary Duff's Duff Stuff, her clothes suggest the teenage girls' section of a department store (a section I came to loathe while working at Robinson's May, as I was responsible for climbing up a broken ladder every day to turn on the TVs -- there were 8 -- that played Blues Traveler videos all day long. Who knew teens lost their shit for pre stomach-staple John Popper? Then again The Macarena also thrived in '97, so I guess anything was possible).
Anyway, this woman. Now look, people should look how they want to look if it makes them happy, despite how ridiculous and ridicule-inducing it may be. But yesterday Accounting took it too far. As she walked by, I saw her struggle to pull her pink stretchy pants up over an exposed chain link thong. I mean, c'mon. She's not fat. Just very 50something. Remember when aging gracefully was a thing?... Yeah, me neither, I guess. Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm older, but I've more respect for the unabashedly shapeless and sore bodies of middle age than I do for the stretched gloss of faux youth. Just let it go, dude. Desperation's got an ugly stink.
Sincerely,
Crotchedy McRantsalot
