Monday, May 24, 2004

Where Fiction Doesn't Dare
Hung out with Terry last night. He came to LA for something passport-related to prep for his move to this tiny town in Canada with world-famous weed. Over the years, I've come to expect amazing stories from this man, as he does things like move to tiny towns in Canada with world-famous weed. "Drug-Crazed Boxer", "Lost in the Desert", and "Nearly Shot by Germans", are some of my favorite Terry tales. The guy's just a magnet for certain types of people. Or rather, type. Like, insane type.

So last night he told me about his friend, Elijah. Elijah used to be Darren, a dancer. Darren used to clean pools in Escondido, which is the San Diego equivalent of, say, Reseda. One night Darren went to the desert and took too much acid, had a vision, and returned to Escondido as Elijah, the profit. He RSVP'd God's invitation and made his way to Jerusalem to hang out on certain sacred rivers, all the while doing more and more acid.

Upon return, he started some kind of production company, the extent of which is unclear. What is clear is it's called Elijah Productions, and they made a short film on DVD to advertise... whatever it is they do. The short was like a Footloose opera performed by the Burning Man players. It's all soundtracked by a funked up kind of Enya, and Elijah dances around a lot in flowing costumes, mostly dance-challenging his foes. In the end, he dances off with Satan and totally serves his ass.

Now, to Terry's credit, he unraveled the Elijah tale cracking up all the way, especially when he told me about the guy's clothing line. He takes scraps of miscellaneous clothes and turns them into other clothes. For example, he cut up an old jersey, sewed it differently, and ta-da! Instant shorts.

Terry also said that the people in the film worship Elijah. He's even supposed to be dating the lead girl dancer, even though he's thoroughly queer. She doesn't know. But even if she did, does it really matter? When you're dating the profit of God, I think you let something like sexual preference slide.

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